1 00:00:27,841 --> 00:00:30,435 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, 2 00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:33,877 and welcome to Alfred Hitchcock Presents. 3 00:00:34,681 --> 00:00:38,981 I should explain. I came down with a cold. 4 00:00:39,052 --> 00:00:41,816 The broken leg was a later development. 5 00:00:42,556 --> 00:00:46,185 These nurses can become quite forceful at times. 6 00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:51,360 The National Safety Council has asked that I remind you 7 00:00:51,431 --> 00:00:54,559 that most accidents occur in the home. 8 00:00:55,135 --> 00:00:58,730 Therefore, this might be a very good place to avoid. 9 00:00:59,539 --> 00:01:05,375 If you must be there, now would be an excellent time to check for those items 10 00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:09,882 that might be lying around or waiting to produce accidents. 11 00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:13,283 Roller skates at the bottom of the stairs, 12 00:01:13,887 --> 00:01:17,186 poorly insulated wires near the bathtub, 13 00:01:17,958 --> 00:01:20,324 ground glass in the sugar bowl, 14 00:01:20,994 --> 00:01:23,155 arsenic in the coffee. 15 00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:26,290 Little things which, if you don't find, 16 00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:29,494 you may regret for the rest of your life. 17 00:01:29,569 --> 00:01:31,696 So much for accidents. 18 00:01:31,772 --> 00:01:35,230 Now we come to the intentional part of our program. 19 00:01:55,395 --> 00:01:57,556 Yes. Hey, there, mister, 20 00:01:58,865 --> 00:02:00,890 you've got my place there. 21 00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:04,801 I come around here every day at noon, 12:00 sharp. 22 00:02:04,871 --> 00:02:08,238 And I sit right there on that log, my back to this piling. 23 00:02:09,443 --> 00:02:13,846 Yes. Matter of fact is, I'm two minutes late now. 24 00:02:14,614 --> 00:02:16,104 Can you beat that? 25 00:02:16,183 --> 00:02:19,744 I'm 93, and I haven't been more than two minutes late 26 00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:22,380 on any appointment I've ever had. 27 00:02:23,190 --> 00:02:25,249 Time is a science. 28 00:02:25,959 --> 00:02:29,417 And if you make good use of it, it'll double your life. 29 00:02:30,363 --> 00:02:34,629 Yes, sir. The only reason I'm late now, I had to find my pills. 30 00:02:34,801 --> 00:02:35,790 Oh, oh. 31 00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:38,561 Oh, yeah. Yes, I got them right here. 32 00:02:41,708 --> 00:02:44,768 You ever take these? No, I never have. 33 00:02:44,845 --> 00:02:46,608 Greatest little old pill in the world. 34 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,547 Something new. They call it Think-Ease. 35 00:02:50,016 --> 00:02:51,643 Well, here goes. 36 00:02:54,521 --> 00:02:57,615 Yes, sir, it's a great life if you don't weaken. 37 00:02:59,159 --> 00:03:01,559 Better get your line in the water, there's a big one right there. 38 00:03:01,628 --> 00:03:02,959 Huh, where? Right there! 39 00:03:03,029 --> 00:03:05,361 I don't see it. It's going under the pier. 40 00:03:05,432 --> 00:03:06,456 Under the pier? 41 00:03:06,533 --> 00:03:08,091 Now do you see him? No. 42 00:03:08,168 --> 00:03:09,567 You will. 43 00:03:32,058 --> 00:03:34,822 Mr. Treadwell, please. Mr. Bunce calling. 44 00:03:36,463 --> 00:03:38,021 This is a recording. 45 00:03:38,098 --> 00:03:40,123 Recent scientific discoveries prove 46 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:44,068 that speech is the most common carrier of the common cold. 47 00:03:44,137 --> 00:03:46,332 Therefore, in the interest of public health, 48 00:03:46,406 --> 00:03:51,241 we in this office are doing all we can to eliminate speech. 49 00:03:54,548 --> 00:03:57,278 Well, I do have to say a little something. 50 00:03:59,686 --> 00:04:03,986 Turn to your right, please, and state your business directly to the telecam, 51 00:04:04,057 --> 00:04:07,754 holding up any identification you have simultaneously. 52 00:04:08,728 --> 00:04:12,061 State your business, please, to the telecam. Time is pressing. 53 00:04:12,132 --> 00:04:15,465 Well... I'm J.J. Bunce. I'm here to see Mr. Treadwell. 54 00:04:15,769 --> 00:04:16,758 Uh... 55 00:04:16,903 --> 00:04:19,098 I do have a card here somewhere. 56 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,502 I'm from the SEG. 57 00:04:24,311 --> 00:04:28,441 State your business, please. You have not stated your business clearly. 58 00:04:28,515 --> 00:04:31,609 I'm J.J. Bunce from the SEG. Here to see Mr. Treadwell. 59 00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:33,516 And I do have a card. 60 00:04:38,992 --> 00:04:41,984 You have not stated your business clearly. 61 00:04:42,062 --> 00:04:44,826 Look, will you just let me see the guy? It's a personal matter. 62 00:04:44,898 --> 00:04:46,729 In fact, you might say it's real intimate. 63 00:04:49,402 --> 00:04:51,893 You have stated your business clearly. 64 00:04:51,972 --> 00:04:55,305 Go through the double doors to the first door on your left. 65 00:04:55,375 --> 00:04:57,502 It's about time. 66 00:04:58,345 --> 00:04:59,972 We're trying not to give you a disease. 67 00:05:00,046 --> 00:05:02,139 Why should you give us one? 68 00:05:13,259 --> 00:05:15,454 Walk right in. You are welcome. 69 00:05:19,799 --> 00:05:21,960 Mr. Treadwell. Mr. Bunce. 70 00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:25,527 I'm sorry, I can't shake hands with you, one of the rules of our firm. 71 00:05:25,605 --> 00:05:27,402 We've made a number of surveys and we've found 72 00:05:27,474 --> 00:05:30,068 that whenever there is human contact, there is contamination. 73 00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:33,379 Now, what is this intimate matter? 74 00:05:34,247 --> 00:05:37,444 Bunce, Society for Experimental Gerontology. 75 00:05:37,517 --> 00:05:38,506 Oh? 76 00:05:38,618 --> 00:05:39,607 You've heard of us? 77 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:41,709 No. 78 00:05:43,189 --> 00:05:46,920 Mr. Treadwell, if you're having this taped, I'd advise you to cut it off. 79 00:05:51,564 --> 00:05:53,327 Sit down, Mr. Bunce. 80 00:05:57,771 --> 00:06:00,365 I'd like to give you a rough idea of the work we're doing. 81 00:06:05,011 --> 00:06:08,037 Society for Experimental Gerontology. 82 00:06:08,114 --> 00:06:10,275 You're collecting money for a hospital, Mr. Bunce? 83 00:06:10,350 --> 00:06:14,309 Please, Mr. Treadwell, don't confuse gerontology with geriatrics. 84 00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:15,410 Oh? 85 00:06:15,622 --> 00:06:19,615 Both words have the same Greek root geras, meaning old. 86 00:06:20,193 --> 00:06:23,788 Whereas geriatrics deals with diseases of the age, 87 00:06:23,863 --> 00:06:27,799 gerontology deals with the social problems arising out of age, 88 00:06:28,735 --> 00:06:30,896 especially extreme age. 89 00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:34,269 And I may add, sir, that the SEG is the most consecrated, 90 00:06:34,340 --> 00:06:37,309 the most dedicated organization that I know of. 91 00:06:37,377 --> 00:06:39,641 You seem to be something of a crusader, Mr. Bunce. 92 00:06:39,979 --> 00:06:42,379 Sir, our outfit is the only one that's facing up to the situation, 93 00:06:42,449 --> 00:06:45,748 the most tragic situation facing our modern society! 94 00:06:46,219 --> 00:06:49,313 Well, if you let me speak to my secretary, I'll have her make you out a check. 95 00:06:49,389 --> 00:06:51,949 We're not after money, Mr. Treadwell. 96 00:06:52,592 --> 00:06:53,957 No? 97 00:06:54,027 --> 00:06:56,222 Our outfit believes in helping you first. 98 00:06:56,296 --> 00:06:57,627 Helping me? 99 00:06:57,697 --> 00:07:01,633 Then if you agree that you have been helped, then you pay the fee. 100 00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:04,568 Mr. Bunce, I'm in my 50s. 101 00:07:04,637 --> 00:07:08,437 The way people are living today, I really don't see how you can help me. 102 00:07:08,508 --> 00:07:11,773 Mr. Treadwell, I have been studying your case for several months, 103 00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:14,313 and believe you me you are a serious case. 104 00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:18,373 I've never been a serious case of anything in my life, Mr. Bunce. 105 00:07:22,722 --> 00:07:24,019 John Treadwell, college graduate, 106 00:07:24,090 --> 00:07:25,785 lives in the Elysian Fields, New Jersey. 107 00:07:25,859 --> 00:07:29,022 Likes sailing, owns own home, nine years of mortgage payments due. 108 00:07:29,095 --> 00:07:31,427 Refrigerator paid for. Pool's not paid for. 109 00:07:31,498 --> 00:07:34,399 Mother-in-law's face-lifting not yet paid for... Where did you get this? 110 00:07:34,467 --> 00:07:37,095 Late model car, 18 monthly payments yet to be made. 111 00:07:37,170 --> 00:07:39,468 Children's education not yet paid for. 112 00:07:39,539 --> 00:07:42,201 Otherwise, happily married for 27 years. 113 00:07:42,275 --> 00:07:45,039 Two teenage children, one older son and a daughter-in-law. 114 00:07:45,111 --> 00:07:47,511 Any errors, Mr. Treadwell? Mr. Bunce, I have a great deal to do. 115 00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:50,515 You missed the last paragraph, Mr. Treadwell. 116 00:07:51,618 --> 00:07:55,418 It deals with your mother-in-law, aged 82. What about her? 117 00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:59,450 She is your problem, Mr. Treadwell. 118 00:07:59,526 --> 00:08:01,858 When your son married and moved out, she moved in. 119 00:08:01,928 --> 00:08:03,862 She lives with you day and night. 120 00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:05,921 And she's driving you mad! 121 00:08:10,069 --> 00:08:11,502 Mr. Bunce... 122 00:08:13,406 --> 00:08:17,968 Mr. Treadwell, according to the latest gerontological statistical tables, 123 00:08:18,044 --> 00:08:21,309 your mother-in-law should live, barring accident, 124 00:08:22,882 --> 00:08:27,581 another 32 years, nine months and six days. 125 00:08:28,521 --> 00:08:31,217 32 years, nine months and six days? 126 00:08:31,524 --> 00:08:33,754 I beg your pardon, seven days. 127 00:08:34,828 --> 00:08:37,058 That is, of course, barring accident. 128 00:08:37,697 --> 00:08:38,686 What do you mean? 129 00:08:39,666 --> 00:08:42,066 Well, an old lady might climb up a stepladder, 130 00:08:42,135 --> 00:08:46,538 she might slip in the bathtub, tumble off a pier. 131 00:08:49,442 --> 00:08:52,104 I always say, Mr. Treadwell, that recognizing that we have a problem 132 00:08:52,178 --> 00:08:53,839 is the first step towards solution. 133 00:08:54,747 --> 00:08:57,580 Now, when you want action, just let me know. 134 00:08:57,650 --> 00:08:59,208 Mr. Bunce. 135 00:08:59,285 --> 00:09:01,810 I will not pretend I'm in love with my mother-in-law, 136 00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:03,856 but if you are suggesting that I have her done away with, 137 00:09:03,923 --> 00:09:06,391 that is the most fiendish thing I've ever heard of. 138 00:09:06,526 --> 00:09:09,825 I am a man of principle, a religious man! 139 00:09:11,197 --> 00:09:14,360 I'm sorry you got personal, Mr. Treadwell. I was hoping to keep this... 140 00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:15,662 Get out. 141 00:09:19,372 --> 00:09:21,966 My card's on your desk, Mr. Treadwell. 142 00:09:25,144 --> 00:09:27,374 I'll be expecting your call. 143 00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:40,050 We thank Thee for our many privileges. 144 00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:42,253 We thank Thee for the comfort of our home... 145 00:09:50,503 --> 00:09:54,405 For the comfort of our home. We thank Thee for the nourishment of our food. 146 00:09:54,474 --> 00:09:56,704 We thank Thee for one another. 147 00:10:01,347 --> 00:10:05,181 Lord, grant us patience in times of tribulation, grant us strength... 148 00:10:10,890 --> 00:10:14,121 Yes, Mother? Who the heck turned off my intercom? 149 00:10:14,928 --> 00:10:17,453 We turned it off, Mother, because we were just saying grace. 150 00:10:17,730 --> 00:10:19,595 My TVset's busted. 151 00:10:19,666 --> 00:10:22,533 I want you to come up here and fix it. Now! 152 00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:27,335 Mother, he can't come now, we're right in the middle of grace. 153 00:10:27,407 --> 00:10:30,672 Why did he have to buy me such a cheap set then? 154 00:10:31,344 --> 00:10:34,142 I will come, Mother, just as soon as we have finished grace. 155 00:10:34,213 --> 00:10:36,909 Hurry up, or I'll miss the Roller Derby. 156 00:10:42,221 --> 00:10:44,189 Our Father, who art in space... 157 00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:51,990 If you'll excuse me, dear? I think I'd better fix her television set. 158 00:10:55,301 --> 00:10:57,667 Never mind. I'll serve. 159 00:10:59,339 --> 00:11:01,671 You know what I'd do? I'd get rid of her! I'd just get rid of her! 160 00:11:02,842 --> 00:11:05,640 Darling. We all get old sometime. 161 00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:32,369 Children, it's getting late, you should get to bed. 162 00:11:32,438 --> 00:11:34,963 I got to finish this, it's my project. 163 00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:36,508 Boy, people are stupid. 164 00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:38,134 Stupider than you? 165 00:11:38,544 --> 00:11:41,513 Look at this crate. 20 years ago they thought it was the greatest. 166 00:11:41,581 --> 00:11:43,242 I'm trying to write. 167 00:11:43,316 --> 00:11:45,784 Can you imagine taking four and a half hours across the country? 168 00:11:45,852 --> 00:11:47,444 How slow can you get? 169 00:11:47,687 --> 00:11:49,712 I said I'm trying to write. 170 00:11:49,789 --> 00:11:51,222 Oh, shut up. 171 00:11:57,363 --> 00:12:02,027 Darling, would you mind very much not humming? 172 00:12:02,101 --> 00:12:04,160 Yes, of course, I'm sorry. 173 00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:07,433 What's that you're looking at? 174 00:12:07,507 --> 00:12:12,103 It's a graph of the population growth according to increased age. 175 00:12:13,312 --> 00:12:15,439 It's rather astounding. 176 00:12:15,515 --> 00:12:18,678 Darling, is anything the matter? You seem so sad. 177 00:12:19,786 --> 00:12:21,344 Just thinking. 178 00:12:24,857 --> 00:12:28,315 If you'll excuse me, dear, I believe I'll turn in. 179 00:12:28,394 --> 00:12:31,955 Daddy, if you're worried about something, why don't you take a Think-Ease? 180 00:12:32,498 --> 00:12:34,966 I don't need to think ease, dear, I need to think hard. 181 00:12:35,034 --> 00:12:36,831 And would you mind turning off that music? 182 00:12:36,903 --> 00:12:38,336 But Daddy, it's soothing. 183 00:12:38,404 --> 00:12:39,598 Yeah, Dad, don't you know that studies prove... 184 00:12:39,672 --> 00:12:40,866 I said turn it off! 185 00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,771 But, John! 186 00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:45,106 The world needs silence. 187 00:12:45,178 --> 00:12:47,908 Silence, like the outside of space. 188 00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:51,916 Just imagine how quiet it must be beyond the last star, hmm? 189 00:12:53,119 --> 00:12:56,919 All right, I say let us live in that silence, and no music. 190 00:12:56,989 --> 00:12:59,822 And start thinking about the meaning of life. 191 00:12:59,892 --> 00:13:01,553 Yes, and the meaning of death, too. 192 00:13:01,627 --> 00:13:03,788 Because death has a meaning. 193 00:13:04,897 --> 00:13:07,525 And believe you me, it has a function. 194 00:13:13,673 --> 00:13:15,140 Boy, did he goof off. 195 00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:16,903 Maybe he's fallen in love, or something. 196 00:13:16,976 --> 00:13:18,637 Just be quiet, will you? 197 00:13:18,711 --> 00:13:22,477 Well, remember three years ago when he went off skiing with his secretary? 198 00:13:22,548 --> 00:13:24,038 He got mad then, too. 199 00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:42,793 Now, why the heck did you do that? 200 00:13:42,869 --> 00:13:45,099 It's too loud, Mother. 201 00:13:45,171 --> 00:13:47,799 You won't be able to get away with this for very long, son. 202 00:13:47,874 --> 00:13:51,275 Just as soon as my leg's mended, I'm gonna be up and about. 203 00:13:51,344 --> 00:13:52,777 Mother... 204 00:13:52,845 --> 00:13:55,780 My, but you're getting a paunch. 205 00:13:57,416 --> 00:14:02,046 I've been sitting in this chair for eight weeks and I look better than you do. 206 00:14:02,121 --> 00:14:04,021 Mother, the noise is not good for you. 207 00:14:04,790 --> 00:14:06,382 Don't you worry. 208 00:14:06,459 --> 00:14:10,225 I'm going to live to be well over 100, no thanks to you. 209 00:14:10,997 --> 00:14:15,366 Fine. But could you just manage to be a little more quiet about it? 210 00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:17,299 Who wants to be quiet? 211 00:14:18,004 --> 00:14:21,371 You'll be quiet a long time in your grave. 212 00:14:22,475 --> 00:14:25,535 Oh, you young people, you don't know how to live. 213 00:14:25,611 --> 00:14:29,445 You're too solemn. You don't enjoy life. 214 00:14:31,117 --> 00:14:34,177 Did you do your setting-up exercises this morning? 215 00:14:34,253 --> 00:14:35,550 No, I did not. 216 00:14:36,756 --> 00:14:38,986 You look like a rumpled pillow! 217 00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:43,087 You know, things are not the same as when I was a girl. 218 00:14:43,162 --> 00:14:45,153 Thank goodness they're not. 219 00:14:45,231 --> 00:14:49,634 Change, change, that's the great thing, that's the secret of life. 220 00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:55,300 Used to be we lived to be 75 or 80. 221 00:14:55,374 --> 00:15:00,812 Now the life span's gone up to 125 and no end in sight. 222 00:15:02,848 --> 00:15:05,942 So you just as well get used to me 223 00:15:06,018 --> 00:15:08,680 and stop turning off my intercom! 224 00:15:30,676 --> 00:15:33,144 Good morning, Mr. Treadwell, we hope your work day will be... 225 00:15:33,212 --> 00:15:34,975 Oh, shut up! 226 00:15:35,047 --> 00:15:36,912 Come in, Mr. Bunce. 227 00:15:48,794 --> 00:15:51,422 Well, Mr. Treadwell, are you with us? 228 00:15:51,497 --> 00:15:54,193 And even if you aren't with us, I trust you won't turn against us. 229 00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:57,031 You know the attorney general himself is over 80 years old. 230 00:15:57,837 --> 00:15:59,464 One report about us and we're liable to end up 231 00:15:59,538 --> 00:16:00,698 in the Atomic Energy Chamber. 232 00:16:00,773 --> 00:16:02,070 Don't worry. 233 00:16:04,844 --> 00:16:08,336 Dear Mr. Treadwell, you still seem to have some doubts. 234 00:16:09,282 --> 00:16:13,378 My dear sir, the tragic situation is that by the miracles of science 235 00:16:13,452 --> 00:16:16,717 by sheer number, the old have come into power. They have the votes. 236 00:16:16,789 --> 00:16:20,850 Mr. Bunce, you don't have to convince me on theoretical grounds. 237 00:16:20,926 --> 00:16:24,293 Then on what grounds? The point is, I detest my mother-in-law so much, 238 00:16:24,363 --> 00:16:26,797 I have to make sure that I'm joining your movement out of idealism, 239 00:16:26,866 --> 00:16:29,266 and not through personal pleasure. 240 00:16:29,935 --> 00:16:31,960 Yes, I see what you mean. 241 00:16:36,809 --> 00:16:38,401 And have you decided? 242 00:16:38,477 --> 00:16:40,206 How would you do it? 243 00:16:40,279 --> 00:16:41,871 You'll have to leave that up to me. 244 00:16:41,947 --> 00:16:43,778 Probably some household accident. 245 00:16:43,849 --> 00:16:44,975 What if you bungle it? 246 00:16:45,051 --> 00:16:47,519 How could I bungle it? I know her well, I know her habits. 247 00:16:47,586 --> 00:16:49,110 You know her? 248 00:16:49,188 --> 00:16:51,816 How do you think I got all that information about you, Mr. Treadwell? 249 00:16:52,958 --> 00:16:56,291 I meet her in the park every Sunday after you leave her there. 250 00:16:56,362 --> 00:16:59,627 No, I couldn't possibly tell you how I'm going to do it, Mr. Treadwell. 251 00:16:59,699 --> 00:17:02,167 You might feel some sense of guilt. 252 00:17:11,310 --> 00:17:14,768 Could you at least tell me when it's going to happen? 253 00:17:17,116 --> 00:17:19,141 How about Sunday morning? 254 00:17:20,186 --> 00:17:22,416 You all go to church, 255 00:17:22,488 --> 00:17:26,322 and she goes to the park because she hates the preacher. 256 00:17:26,759 --> 00:17:30,217 Yes, I rather think Sunday morning might be excellent. 257 00:17:31,497 --> 00:17:33,795 That is, if I have your consent? 258 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,639 It's a deal. 259 00:17:45,845 --> 00:17:48,336 Speaking of deals, Mr. Treadwell. What's this? 260 00:17:48,981 --> 00:17:51,108 In signing a pledge to our organization, Mr. Treadwell, 261 00:17:51,183 --> 00:17:54,209 you will be performing one of the most praiseworthy acts of your life. 262 00:17:54,286 --> 00:17:57,312 "I hereby promise to pay you $2,000." 263 00:17:57,390 --> 00:17:59,221 You never said anything about money like this. 264 00:17:59,925 --> 00:18:02,155 The occasion has never arisen before, Mr. Treadwell. 265 00:18:02,228 --> 00:18:04,059 But may I point out 266 00:18:04,130 --> 00:18:07,896 that a donation to a charitable organization such as ours... 267 00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:10,959 Is, of course, tax deductable. 268 00:18:25,885 --> 00:18:28,046 Where's Daddy? He's going to be late for church. 269 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:29,849 I suppose he's still dressing. 270 00:18:29,922 --> 00:18:30,980 No, he went out. 271 00:18:31,123 --> 00:18:32,112 Oh? 272 00:18:32,258 --> 00:18:34,783 Yeah, he pushed Grandma to the park. 273 00:18:38,364 --> 00:18:40,423 My, what a beautiful morning. 274 00:18:40,499 --> 00:18:44,367 Darling, you aren't even dressed. You'll be late for church. 275 00:18:44,437 --> 00:18:46,166 I'm not going. 276 00:18:46,238 --> 00:18:48,001 You're not going? 277 00:18:48,073 --> 00:18:51,941 Why, John, you haven't missed church in 20 years. 278 00:18:52,011 --> 00:18:53,672 I'm not going. 279 00:18:53,746 --> 00:18:55,646 Do you mind if I ask why? 280 00:18:55,714 --> 00:18:57,614 I'm going fishing. You're what? 281 00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,877 Don't look so alarmed. 282 00:18:59,952 --> 00:19:01,817 But, Daddy, you'll get arrested. 283 00:19:01,887 --> 00:19:05,379 Don't you know they've passed a new law, no fishing on Sunday? 284 00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:06,584 Who passed it? 285 00:19:06,659 --> 00:19:10,095 Just last week, the League for Elderly Democracy passed it. 286 00:19:10,162 --> 00:19:12,323 That's right, and now everyone has to go to church. 287 00:19:12,398 --> 00:19:13,888 But Grandma doesn't go to church. 288 00:19:13,966 --> 00:19:16,560 That's because she has a health certificate! 289 00:19:16,635 --> 00:19:20,298 If you're old enough you can get a health certificate and you don't have to go. 290 00:19:20,372 --> 00:19:23,136 That's why there is no one on the streets Sunday morning. 291 00:19:23,209 --> 00:19:24,540 Ah-hah! 292 00:19:25,945 --> 00:19:27,412 I hadn't noticed that. 293 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,472 Well, of course not, you've always been in church. 294 00:19:32,151 --> 00:19:35,587 Doesn't matter. It's decided, I'm going fishing. 295 00:19:35,688 --> 00:19:37,019 Really, Daddy? 296 00:19:37,089 --> 00:19:38,488 Don't all look so alarmed! 297 00:19:38,557 --> 00:19:41,720 You don't have to call a lawyer and have me committed. 298 00:19:41,794 --> 00:19:45,696 I'm going to eat a big stack of fresh, fluffy pancakes 299 00:19:46,365 --> 00:19:48,993 drowned in golden sparkling syrup. 300 00:19:51,504 --> 00:19:53,631 And then, I'm going fishing! 301 00:19:54,974 --> 00:19:58,102 Well, children, we'll go to church. 302 00:20:08,521 --> 00:20:10,921 It is called the Blessington Method. 303 00:20:10,990 --> 00:20:13,754 After our founder, Mr. Ralph Blessington. 304 00:20:14,527 --> 00:20:17,223 He saw the problem arising way back in the '60s. 305 00:20:17,296 --> 00:20:21,756 Young man, I don't know what you're talking about, but I like your voice. 306 00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:24,899 Of course, all forms of life 307 00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:28,462 grow, flower, fail and fall. 308 00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:31,271 It's a soothing voice. 309 00:20:31,343 --> 00:20:33,573 Death is the compost of life. 310 00:20:34,413 --> 00:20:37,780 Now what is more wonderful for this spring's flowers 311 00:20:37,850 --> 00:20:40,375 than last year's rotten leaves? 312 00:20:40,452 --> 00:20:43,910 Death is built right into the universe for the enrichment of life. 313 00:20:44,390 --> 00:20:45,550 What do you suppose would happen 314 00:20:45,624 --> 00:20:49,219 if all the fish in the ocean suddenly had the power not to die? 315 00:20:49,295 --> 00:20:52,093 Why, in two weeks time the ocean would be so choked with fish 316 00:20:52,164 --> 00:20:55,861 there wouldn't be enough water left, and all fish would die. 317 00:20:56,535 --> 00:21:00,631 So, when man in his infinite mischief upsets the order of things, 318 00:21:01,373 --> 00:21:03,307 infinite mischief is bound to result. 319 00:21:03,576 --> 00:21:07,273 Young man, I don't quite know what you're saying, 320 00:21:07,346 --> 00:21:08,904 but I know I don't like it. 321 00:21:08,981 --> 00:21:10,642 Turn me around! 322 00:21:36,642 --> 00:21:38,132 Mr. Treadwell. 323 00:21:40,012 --> 00:21:43,675 It's done, death by accidental submersion. 324 00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:46,350 Oh, dear. 325 00:21:48,187 --> 00:21:50,655 Don't feel too badly, Mr. Treadwell. 326 00:21:50,723 --> 00:21:54,591 It's in the past. Forget about it, you must think about the future. 327 00:21:54,660 --> 00:21:56,753 Think about your children. 328 00:21:56,829 --> 00:22:01,357 Now you can have the pleasure of watching them grow, flower into full bloom. 329 00:22:02,568 --> 00:22:05,332 Think about your daughter. Someday she'll marry. 330 00:22:07,072 --> 00:22:08,505 Yes. 331 00:22:08,574 --> 00:22:10,838 Now can't you picture in your mind's eye 332 00:22:10,909 --> 00:22:14,072 that handsome, strong, young son-in-law? 333 00:22:14,146 --> 00:22:18,173 Can't you just feel the warmth of his handclasp as he greets you? 334 00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:19,842 Wait a minute. 335 00:22:20,686 --> 00:22:24,486 Are you trying to tell me that someday somebody from your group 336 00:22:25,457 --> 00:22:28,893 will come and give my children ideas? 337 00:22:30,896 --> 00:22:32,989 Honestly, Mr. Treadwell, 338 00:22:33,065 --> 00:22:36,933 can you imagine those affectionate and devoted youngsters 339 00:22:37,002 --> 00:22:40,665 ever possibly doing you the slightest harm, the slightest harm? 340 00:22:43,575 --> 00:22:46,066 No. I guess not. 341 00:22:47,646 --> 00:22:50,114 Splendid. Now you hold onto that thought. 342 00:22:50,182 --> 00:22:53,174 Keep it close to you at all times. Cherish it. 343 00:22:54,286 --> 00:22:57,016 It will be a great solace to you and a comfort... 344 00:22:58,290 --> 00:22:59,552 To the very end. 345 00:23:19,044 --> 00:23:22,946 The doctor told me I could take the cast off anytime. 346 00:23:23,615 --> 00:23:27,711 But I find I receive much better treatment with it on. 347 00:23:28,821 --> 00:23:31,984 As for Mr. Bunce and Mr. Treadwell, 348 00:23:32,057 --> 00:23:36,721 even their advanced society frowned on their activities. 349 00:23:37,629 --> 00:23:41,531 By then, mothers-in-law were most numerous 350 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,535 and even more powerful than they are today. 351 00:23:45,104 --> 00:23:47,504 It's something to look forward to, 352 00:23:48,006 --> 00:23:50,304 provided you're a mother-in-law. 353 00:23:53,345 --> 00:23:57,941 Now until next time, good night.